Chapter nine: Xoom Quest

so i was chugging my normal 15 xoom juice smoothies like i do every day. today i asked for extra protein, so i would have enough energy to fight sparticus. then the dude stopped serving me cuz i was only using the lucky seven cards, (if you buy 6 the 7th is free) so i had filled out 15 and was trying to get fifteen free ones. whats up with him not serving me?

chapter eight: the final show down

So i had just pwned zurg, when suddenly i realized that zurg couldn't of done this by himself. suddenly it all made sense. sparticus was behind it all. thats why wallclock was greek, thats why the geenie smelled like falafel's and why Huphpotonous said "dude, Sparticus stole my wristwatch. you freak of nature" thats her pet name for me.  also, i don't like the siamese.

chapter 7" battle for the space control

so me and a bunch of other space cadets went to destroy zurg. right? so we were in our spaceship with our guns inconvently connected to the spaceship. so we had to shoot the z's when they lighted up, but if they werent lit u just dont get as many points. so we got on to his home planet and it was freakzy. so then he was in this jet pack thing shooting rockets, and the little green men were taking out the batteries. then he was in a toy box cuz he was a bad robot.

chapter 6: rain

i was very tired so i felt like it should rain outside so it did but i was actually inside and in the shower eating an ice cream cone which was being held up by my newly acquired apposable thumbs oh and buzz lightyear recruited me to help fight the evil emperor zurg and save the galactic empire from complete implosion

Chapter four: puppy paste

so i was pretty shocked by this new toothepaste. appaerntally its "safe in smal doses'' i was a little offended that they thought that puppies needed toothepaste you could swallow. i mean whats up with that? so in protest, i downed a whole bottle of it. then it tasted like food, so i figured i better eat more, or face certain death.
It was pretty much delicious. then a genie appeared. it wanted my face, so i fought it. it won. then it occured to me that the toothepaste i'd been gorging on probabbly was giving me these hallucinations. unfortunetly by this time the crabs had already gotten to my eyes. i was in a pickle!

Chapter 3: To the Grocery

I used my newly acquired segway to get to the grocery
i am doing things alone now mostly
left me heartbroken not digging for bones
surprsed in my mind when i looked above
the checkout counter and i saw an ad
for new puppy tooth paste oh yeah

Chapter two: Watch Quest

Huphpotanous wanted egg salad. But thats neither here nor where. her wrist watch was stolen by wallclock, who jumped out of a window in an attempt to escape. oh yeah and he succeeded. she told me "my names not huphpotonous, STOP IT" I knew it was a plea for help, so i went to find the evil wallclock!

chapter one: the golden wristwatch

sweet dreams are made of these
i travel the world and the seven seas
who am i to disagree?
- greek philosopher eurythmics
They say when a black cat crosses your path its bad luck, but when a half black half bald lizard octopus crosses your path, you know you've met Huphpotonous. and that be how my day started.
i woke up and there was her, HUPHPOTONUS. she was fighting off wallclock. Wallclock preceded to eat a sub. then i was hungry. do u think subway has better subs than quiznos? i like quiznos, cuz they throw old subs into a dumpster that sometimes falls over.
Then wallclock fell on her. and her golden wristwatch popped off. her tears-like bitter-sweet chocolate. bitter cuz they were sad, sweet cuz she had been gorging herself on sugar. chocolate cuz i was still hungry